


Of Amputees and Aquaphobes

by StrawberryCheesecake (bhunks)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD Lance, ASL, Alternate Canon Universe, Amputation, Aquaphobia, Autistic Keith, Deaf Veronica McClain, Destroying the castle was biphobia so I’m here to remedy that, HUNK IS TALLER THAN SHIRO FIGHT ME, Lance has already had his sexuality arc, Lesbian Veronica McClain, M/M, Mutual Pining, PTSD, Pansexual Hunk, Real Shiro, Shiro likes to meddle, Trans Male Character, alternating pov, background hallura, bisexual allura, black paladin lance, lotor can eat my ass, the other alteans are alive and good, trans keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 20:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15227562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhunks/pseuds/StrawberryCheesecake
Summary: After a mission goes south, Keith is left physically damaged and Lance is mentally scarred. They find support in each other. Fluff ensues.





	Of Amputees and Aquaphobes

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don’t like how at this point it’s probably been a year to a year and a half since they left Earth, and since this is a canon AU, I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s been almost a year, which means Pidge is 15-16, Hunk and Lance are 18, Keith is 19, and Shiro is 26.
> 
> The time Keith spent with Krolia on the space whale has been shortened from that ridiculous 2 years to 2 or 3 months because frankly I’d get sick of anyone if they were the only person I talked to for months.

Title: Of Amputees and Aquaphobes

______________

 

Lance didn’t know when he hit the water.

What he did know was that this was all his fault. Wasn’t he the one who had given orders? He must have; there wasn’t anyone else who would’ve. 

He also knew it had been dark. They definitely left after the suns went down.

Everything after leaving Kroczi was blurry. He could barely piece together the elder’s face, much less any other citizen’s. It was as if someone took the cheapest eraser out of the bottom of their book bag and rubbed it haphazardly across Lance’s memory. 

They were climbing the mountain, but Lance couldn’t remember why.

Then they fell.  _ Who was with me? _ Someone else was there. They were trying to support both of them.

He heard a loud  _ snap _ that sickened him. Then he was cold. He was freezing, really. His suit must’ve been offline. He couldn’t see anything. He tried to sit up, but he couldn’t move.  _ I can’t move.  _ He felt an overwhelming pressure, and he started to panic, and it took him a few moments to realize he was trying to breathe in water. There must’ve been a crack in his helmet.

_ Oh, _ he thought, mind sluggish.  _ I’m drowning. _

The very last thing he remembered was the distant light from the surface being blotted out.

  
  


Keith woke up in a pod.

The first thing he thought was,  _ It’s too bright _ . Someone had their arms around him, holding him up. It was relaxing, comfortable,  _ familiar. _ His vision cleared and Shiro was looking at him with his eyebrows knit together. 

“Keith? Are you okay?”

He couldn’t find the words. He let out a few ragged breaths before shaking his head. He tried to push Shiro off so he could stand on his own, but he almost fell. Shiro had stubbornly held on. 

“Keith,” Shiro said, much quieter, but he’d already looked down and almost passed out.

He didn’t have a leg.

There was a giant bandage wrapped around what was once his right leg. He tried to swing his foot experimentally, but it barely moved. He felt the familiar waves of anxiety and knew a panic attack was coming.

“Keith, your fall seriously damaged you,” Coran said. His shoulders were slumped. There were bags under his eyes and he looked miserable. “You were shot through the thigh. It didn’t go straight through your thigh bone, but it did skim it, which was bad enough. But when you landed, it just…”

“It had snapped,” Allura whispered. She was holding her face her in hands. “I tried to heal it, Keith, I really did, but I  _ couldn’t… _ ”

“Allura was the one who found you,” Shiro said. He pulled a chair over and helped Keith sit down on it. 

His head was reeling. “I don’t- I don’t have a leg.”

“No,” Shiro said quietly. 

“I’m  _ so _ sorry, Keith-” Allura started, but he cut her off.

“I don’t have a leg,” Keith repeated. He stared at the floor, at nothing in particular. “I’m- I can’t  _ fly _ .” And really, wasn’t that the worst part of it all? He couldn’t pilot Red. That meant no Voltron, no defender of the universe, no  _ purpose for Keith. _ He felt like vomiting.

“Pidge and Hunk are trying to design a new leg,” Coran said. “A prosthetic. Like Shiro’s, but not…” He gestured awkwardly.

“Galra,” Shiro supplied. 

Keith nodded, still not looking away from the spot. He didn’t think he’d be able to stand it if he lost a human part of himself and had it replaced with something  _ Galra. _ “Where’s Lance?” He had gone into the water after him. Lance had been sinking. He hadn’t even been trying to swim.

None of them answered. He forced himself to look up. “Where’s Lance?” He asked again, voice pitched higher. Was he-?

“He’s alive,” Allura promised. “You got him out, Keith.”

“He’s just-” Shiro hesitated. “Keith, I don’t want to dump all this on you so quickly. Do you want to rest first?”

“No, you have to tell me,” Keith said, glaring at Shiro intensely. “I have to  _ know _ . What happened, Shiro?”

“Lance wasn’t physically injured when he fell,” Coran began. “But his head… He’s suffering a form of amnesia. Traumatic, I think. He can’t remember what happened after the blast. I think a rock must’ve hit his helmet and broken it, and gave him a concussion. He also… he developed a fear of water.”

“ _ What _ ?” This was too much. Lance  _ loved _ the water. They swam together multiple times, racing with each other or with the others during a team-building exercise. How could  _ Lance _ be afraid of water? He’d grown up on the beach. He talked about it all the time.

“He’s forgotten how to swim,” Shiro whispered softly. “It’s linked with his trauma. He almost drowned, Keith.”

Keith felt dizzy. He started clenching and unclenching his hands. He wished it had been him instead. Keith could live without swimming, but Lance loved it more than anything.

  
  


Lance was bouncing a tennis ball off the wall.

He was in his room, leaning against his bed. He tried to stay with Hunk and Pidge while they worked on Keith’s new leg (because apparently  _ that _ happened), but they didn’t know how to hold a conversation with him. He knew they felt awkward. He wasn’t exactly in the bright mood he was usually in. Eventually, the silence became too much to bear and he left.

He started bouncing the tennis ball on the wall just so there was  _ something _ to fill the silence.

He was on autopilot, trying to remember what happened and failing miserably when Allura came in. “Lance?” She asked.

“Hm?” He didn’t look at her. His face was gray and tired. 

“Keith is out, if you wanted to know.” She sat down next to him. He caught the ball and started rotating it in his hands instead, running his fingers over the fuzz that was coming off. “Has anything… changed?”

“No,” he answered flatly. “I still don’t remember chunks of yesterday.”

“It happened two days ago,” she reminded him gently. “You and Keith were in the pods for almost 26 hours. Well, 27 for Keith.”

He let out a shaky breath.  _ Right. _ She told him it was Keith that he was with on the mountain because he couldn’t recall himself.

He squeezed the ball. He felt  _ frustrated. _ He could feel tears burning in the back of his eyes, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself any further than he already had when she took him to the pool in an effort to cheer him up about the amnesia and concussion.

He blinked a couple times and wiped his eyes. “Oh. Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Allura said. She started to put her arm around him, but then she paused. “I’m sorry. May I-?”

“Yeah,” he said. Her hug was more comforting than he was willing to admit. “I don’t know how to get over this.”

“According to Pidge, the amnesia is not likely to last. Your memories may resurface on their own or you may trigger their return. Shiro’s memories came back, so we’re optimistic that yours will, too. And even if they don’t… well, it was only right after the blast happened, and that just little pieces of Kroczi before that. You wouldn’t be missing much, at least.”

“What about the-” He cut himself off. Could he say it? Could he really admit to himself what he was afraid of? “The phobia.”

“I… don’t know,” Allura said hesitantly. She withdrew her hands and folded them in her lap, anxiously twiddling her thumbs. “I wish I could be of more help, but I’m at a loss. Alteans aren’t quite the same as humans. But I think you will overcome it.”

“I don’t know,” Lance muttered. He leaned his head back. “It feels impossible. I feel  _ useless _ .”

“Lance,” Allura said, turning her body so she faced him directly. She put her hand on his shoulder, and she looked  _ determined _ , almost. “Out of all the people in the universe they could have chosen, three of the Voltron Lions chose  _ you _ to pilot them. You formed an incredibly strong bond with the first one. Do you know I can  _ feel _ Blue’s pride and happiness when she thinks of you?”

“She thinks of me?” Lance felt a little surprised. He felt warm in his chest. 

“Every time we’re in battle,” Allura confirmed. She squeezed his shoulder and continued. “One of them was the most tempermental of the five and the most difficult to bond with. The third is the leader of Voltron.  _ You _ are the leader of Voltron. There is no challenge too great for you. I have no doubt that you will fully recover from this.”

She smiled. He didn’t know what to say, so he leaned over and hugged her. He held on, and said, “Thank you, Allura.” She patted his back.

“Do you want to see Keith?”

“Does  _ Keith _ want to see  _ me _ ?”

“Of course he does,” Allura said. “Do  _ you _ want to see him, Lance?”

Allura wasn’t the only one who had picked up on Lance’s painfully obvious affections. Hunk knew, and Pidge simply figured it out. He wouldn’t be surprised if the only person who  _ didn’t _ know was Keith. The fact that Shiro and Coran at least suspected something was just embarrassing. 

“Yeah,” Lance said. “Just… let me get there on my own?”

“Of course,” Allura said, and she stood up. Before she left, she turned and said, “Come to me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” Lance said, and the door closed behind her.

  
  


Shiro had to help Keith get to his room.

Keith had a crutch to lean on, but it was difficult with only one crutch and one leg. He limped his way onto his bed, stubbornly trying to walk on his own. “I can do it, Shiro,” he said, slumping under the covers.

“Should I tell Lance you’re in here?”

“If he asks,” he replied, turning over and pulling the weighted comforter up to his chin. He wondered how Lance was feeling.

“Do you want me to ask Coran to turn down the temperature in here?”

“Please,” Keith said, and he turned his head to look back at Shiro. “Did you… did your arm feel like this?”

“Like it was still there, just a few pounds lighter?” Shiro chuckled. “Yeah. It was weird and took a while to get used to. Then I had a new arm. It’ll take you a little to get used to, but you’ll get there.”

“Maybe,” Keith muttered, and he turned back over.

He heard the door shut and he stared at the wall. The blanket was helping him a little.  _ I don’t have a leg. Lance is afraid of water. _ He started rubbing his thumb against the side of his index finger. He didn’t know what to do. 

He dragged himself across the bed to pick up a book from the night stand that he’d brought with him from the desert. It was one Shiro had given him-  _ Mockingbird. _ It was one of the few books he still had that he could read over and over. 

A few hours later, he heard the door open. He didn’t say anything, just waited for Shiro to speak, but then he heard Lance’s voice. “Hey, man.”

He sat up and leaned against his pillow. “Oh. Hey.”

“How’re you doing?” Lance asked. He sat down on the end of the bed, perpendicular to Keith. “Allura told me what happened.”

“I don’t have a leg,” Keith said, for what felt like the eighth time that day. He rubbed his index finger a little faster. “I don’t have a leg, Lance.”

“Pidge and Hunk are making one-”

“But it’s not  _ mine _ !” Keith burst, and then he immediately turned away. “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. “How’s your… head?” He tapped his temple.

“I still don’t remember much,” Lance said, leaning back on his palms and looking at the opposite wall. “I remember your scream. I heard your thigh break. But I don’t remember falling and I don’t remember… sights, I guess, is the best way to put it.”

“I saw you hit the water,” Keith said. “I landed and then you fell right next to me and sank like a rock. I had to swim after you, and I almost passed out. I did before Allura got to us. She said… she said my bone was sticking out of my leg.”

“I’m sorry, Keith.”

Keith looked away. “How did you find out about the water?”

Lance shifted uncomfortably and crossed his arms. “Allura took me to the pool because that’s like, my happy place, you know? But I couldn’t do it. I forced myself in despite the nausea and panic because I thought it was just from the amnesia and general shittiness.”

“Oh,” Keith said. He wasn’t sure how to proceed. “Could you try going in more each time?”

“I slid in from where it was six feet deep. When I let go of the ledge…” Lance hunched over. “I was sinking again, and I didn’t remember how to float. I had to stand on my tiptoes to breathe, but I couldn’t think clearly, so I was panicking inches from the surface. Allura had to pull me out.”

Keith drummed his fingers on his left thigh. “Well, I could try to- I could try to help you,” he said anxiously, unsure of if that was the right thing to say.

“How?” Lance asked miserably, falling backwards so his head rested against the wall at an awkward angle. 

“Do you want me to help you swim?”

Lance stared at him. Keith started to backpedal. “I mean, if you’re really uncomfortable with water, that’s all right, but I figured you maybe wanted some help-”

“No, no,” Lance said quickly, sitting up. “I’m just surprised. I didn’t expect you to- well, I didn’t think you’d want to.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Keith frowned.

“Cause we’re rivals and all that,” Lance said, smiling a little lopsided.

Keith wasn’t sure what to say to that. He’d given up hope that Lance would ever return his feelings, even after Lance’s revelation about his sexuality. But he thought they were at  _ least _ headed in the right direction. He didn’t think Lance still thought of him as a rival, even as a joke-

“Hey, you know I’m just kidding, right? I’d really appreciate you helping me,” Lance said, turning to face Keith. “I just… don’t know how to start.”

“I’ll ask Shiro about it and see if he has any ideas,” Keith suggested.

“Actually,” Lance said hesitantly, “can we just keep this between us for now? I don’t really want the whole team knowing. Especially right away. In case it takes me an embarrassingly long time.”

Keith blinked. Lance trusted him enough to help him swim when he didn’t even want the others to know he was trying. “Sure. We don’t have to tell anyone.” It made him feel warm. Lance smiled and Keith started to get up, but his hand bumped his crutch and it fell over.

Lance swooped down and picked it up. “Want any help?”

“Yeah, actually,” Keith said. He sighed. “Can you help me walk to Pidge and Hunk? I want to at least see what they’re doing.”

“No problem,” Lance said, and he stood in a way that he could support Keith.

“Oh, and, uh, Lance?”

“Yeah?”

Keith felt like he was blushing. “When I get the new leg… can you help me learn to fight with it?”

Lance smiled. “Of course.”

  
  


Lance stayed with Keith while Pidge and Hunk talked to him about the leg. Coran came down to tell them that Allura made dinner, but it was all right if they wanted to stay there for a while, working on their project.

“Do you guys want me to get you some?” Lance asked, quirking an eyebrow. “I could bring down the plates.”

“I’m starving, so that’d be appreciated,” Pidge said. “Can you get me water, too?”

“Allura’s a great chef, so yeah,” Hunk said over his shoulder. A little smug, he added, “I mean, she learned from the best.”

“I’m all right,” Keith said. He looked glum. Lance nodded and left.

He was walking down the hall on autopilot. He debated getting Keith a plate anyway. He might be hungry and just not want to say anything. Maybe all the anxiety and change made him lose his appetite. But he also didn’t want to bring him a plate if Keith really didn’t want anything, because then he might feel like Lance wasn’t listening to him. And he really, really didn’t want to get on Keith’s bad side when they had this… mutual help arrangement. And when his stomach burst with butterflies every time he saw Keith.

He walked into the kitchen and looked around before frowning and drumming his fingers on the counter, trying to remember what he was supposed to do after getting food. (He opted to put a little extra food on his plate so he could give it to Keith if he changed his mind.)

He huffed and started looking at each individual thing in the kitchen, frustrated and trying to remember what he was supposed to do. Allura came in and noticed his agitation. “Are you all right, Lance?”

“Yeah, I’m just- I forgot what I was supposed to be doing,” Lance said, still frowning.

“You got food for everyone,” Allura noted. “Did they want anything else? Specific silverware? Drinks? Napkins-?”

“Yes!” Lance’s face broke into a grin. “Yes, thank you, Allura, that was it! Pidge asked for water. But now that I think about it, Hunk and Keith are probably thirsty, too.” He got out one of the plastic cups for Keith. 

“Let me help you carry it down,” Allura said.

“Are you using this as an excuse to see Hunk?” Lance side-eyed her, sly grin on his face.

She blushed. “Maybe just a little,” she admitted, picking up two of the plates and a glass. “But in my defense, I’m bored and I have nothing else to do.”

They walked down the hallways back to the other three, chatting absentmindedly. Lance was happy to be able to simply  _ talk _ . Everything had felt like way too much, all at once. He hadn’t been able to organize his thoughts. He felt much more at ease with Allura; he could be himself around her in a way that he couldn’t with Hunk and Pidge.

Pidge was measuring Keith’s left leg when Lance and Allura walked in. “Hey, guys,” Pidge said. “Hey, you didn’t forget my water!” She grinned and took the cup from him. “Thanks, Lance!”

“You’re welcome,” Lance said. “I brought some for everyone since you’re all probably dehydrated.”

“I  _ am _ a little thirsty,” Keith admitted, and he took the plastic cup from Lance. “Thanks for getting this one, by the way,” he added quietly.

“Not a problem,” Lance answered, beaming.

  
  


Lance helped Keith get back to his room since the leg hadn’t been finished yet. Coran came in and told Keith that it would be ready by noon the next day.

When Keith woke up, the first thing he did was haul himself onto his crutch and he practiced walking back and forth on it. He wanted to be able to walk to the workshop. He had to brace himself against the wall and he fell several times, but he got back up. He was determined to walk by himself.

He heard knocks on his door. “Come in,” he called.

Lance walked in. “Good morn- what are you doing?”

“Trying to walk,” Keith huffed. Was he  _ sweating _ ? Just from walking? He felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I want to get there by myself.”

“Oh,” Lance said. “Well, that makes sense. Um, is it okay if I walk close to you, though? Just in case?”

“Yeah,” Keith said, nodding. He appreciated Lance’s gesture. “Is my- is it ready?”

“Coran said it will be in about half an hour,” Lance said. “He’s putting the finishing touches on it for Hunk and Pidge. Do you want to go eat something first?”

Keith nodded again. While they were walking to the kitchen, Lance glanced at him. “You know, you’re doing a lot better with this whole ‘I don’t have a leg’ thing than I thought you would.”

“I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet,” Keith answered. “I don’t know what will happen when it does. It just doesn’t feel real yet. Maybe because of the pod.”

“They do make everything feel like a fever dream,” Lance replied, huffing slightly. 

He didn’t start any other conversations. Keith was thankful for the silence, but he could tell Lance was aching to do something. He was tapping his fingers on his thigh, but there was no real rhythm to it. 

Keith sat down at the counter in the kitchen, slowly, so he didn’t slip. “You don’t have to stay with me, you know,” Keith said, even though he really wanted him to.

“I know,” Lance answered, but he didn’t leave the kitchen, just kept pacing around and messing with random things on the counter.

Keith couldn’t help his smile. A couple minutes later, Hunk came in while Lance was rolling an orange around on the counter. “Hey, guys. Keith, Coran said your prosthetic is ready whenever you are. Do you know where Allura is?”

“I think she’s in the lounge, daydreaming about you,” Lance said, hitching a thumb over his shoulder and smirking. 

“Shut up,” Hunk said, and he blushed. “I tried to make your leg as identical as possible to your real one, Keith, but I’m not certain how close it is.”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Keith said, nervous. Because if it wasn’t, then it would be  _ so _ uncomfortable, and he wasn’t sure he could deal with that, but he also didn’t want to feel like he was spitting in Hunk’s face.

“Ready to go?” Lance asked, nodding towards Keith’s crutch.

“Yeah,” he said, gripping the crutch and easing his way off the stool. 

Lance didn’t immediately try to reach out and support him while he walked, which he definitely appreciated. It took them longer than Keith wanted it to, but he  _ did _ manage to walk to the workshop with minimal assistance from Lance.

Coran was sitting on a chair. Keith saw the prosthetic. It was metallic, but it didn’t look the same way Shiro’s arm looked, which he was thankful for. Being half-Galra was bad enough. 

“There you are,” Coran said brightly, and he stood up. “Just get onto the table and I’ll set to work. Listen, Keith, in order for it to not be painful, I need to put you under.”

Keith just nodded and hauled himself onto the table, eyeing the leg. He still had no idea how to feel about it. “When will I wake up?”

“Should only be a couple hours,” Coran said, filling up a syringe.

Keith barely felt it go into his arm. “Will you be here?” He asked Lance, eyelids heavy.

“I’ll stay the whole time,” Lance promised, and Keith’s vision went dark.

  
  


Lance paced around the workshop.

He had nothing to do except walk around and wait for Keith to wake up. Coran had finished attaching the leg and doing a million other things to connect nerves or something (he zoned out while Coran was explaining it). He’d helped Coran get Keith into the pod again “just to wrap things up.” After Coran left, he bounced the tennis ball as high up against the wall as he could throw it.

He thought about going to train or finding Shiro so he could have someone to talk to while waiting, but he told Keith he wouldn’t leave, and honestly, he didn’t really want to be with anyone except Keith right now. He settled for organizing the tools on Coran’s table. He kept reorganizing them when he finished- by size, color, shape, until he’d wasted almost an hour and a half. 

The pod hissed and Keith started to fall forward.

Lance’s heart leapt in his chest and he stepped forward quickly to catch him. “Keith? Are you okay? Do you need anything? I can run and get you some water really quick-”

“Wait,” Keith interrupted, and he rubbed his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Lance helped him sit on a chair. A minute or so passed. “Sorry,” he muttered, still looking down. “I just needed it to be silent for a moment.”

“No worries,” Lance said abruptly. “So can I do anything-?”

“Just help me up again?” Keith was staring at his leg. “Yeah. I don’t- I don’t know if I- fuck, Lance I don’t-” He cut himself off. Lance noticed he was breathing heavily. Hesitantly, he reached out and squeezed Keith’s shoulder, trying to reassure him.

“Coran left your crutch in case you still needed it,” Lance said, trying to be as quiet as possible. 

Keith just nodded. His eyes were still wide. He was staring at the prosthetic like it was a foreign object ( _ Wasn’t it? _ Lance wondered) and he was wearing shorts, so it wasn’t even covered. 

Keith didn’t speak the whole way back. Lance wasn’t sure if he should try to fill the silence. He opted to hum under his breath, partly to quell his own need for anything  _ but _ silence.

Keith wasn’t limping too bad, so the leg must not have been too off from the original, but it looked like his knee was locked. It jerked occasionally, but Lance pretended not to notice.

Lance still hadn’t been back to the pool. He wasn’t even sure how to start overcoming the aquaphobia. He figured walking in slowly would be a good start, but the idea of going in past his knees made him queasy all over again.

Keith collapsed on his bed and pulled his comforter up to his chin. “Do you need anything else?” Lance asked.

He shook his head and turned over. Lance ached for two reasons- the person he was best friends with was in pain, and the person he was in love with was in pain. He put his hand on Keith’s shoulder again. “Let me know if you do, okay?”

He left and went to the Lion Hangar. He was going to Black, but decided that maybe he just really wanted Blue again.

She didn’t open her mouth to let him in, but he could feel her presence in the back of his mind (admittedly, not as strongly as when they’d been bonded). “Hey, Blue,” he said softly, letting his head lean against her leg. “Some water paladin I am, huh?”

She tried to reassure him, but he still felt like crying. He tapped his fingers against her paw, finding comfort in the thumps from the metal and his fingertip pads. “I keep thinking that maybe I’ll wake up and this will be a dream. I’ll fall out of the pod. Keith will still have his leg, I’d still have my memory, and my ability to  _ swim… _ I’d still be able to stay in the water for hours.” His shoulders slumped. “I wouldn’t be so useless. What kind of defender of the universe is afraid of  _ water _ ?”

Her spirit felt cool against his mind. It felt the same way it used to. Oddly, like water. He wrapped his arms around himself. Her aura was comforting, despite feeling like ocean waves in his head. He found respite in that fact. 

  
  


Keith woke up the next morning and practiced walking back and forth. He put on sweatpants because they were loose and he couldn’t stand the feeling of jeans on one leg but not the other. He put on a binder and T-shirt. After an hour, he felt comfortable enough to get to Lance’s room. He knocked on the door and heard stumbling around inside.

“Sorry, Hunk, I know you told me to get up-”

He faltered when he saw it was Keith. “Oh, hey. Are you doing all right?”

Keith cleared his throat and took a moment to choose his words. “Yes. Do you want to go to the pool today?”

Lance seemed to think about it, like he genuinely wasn’t sure. “I think so,” he said. “The shower is okay, so the phobia must not be  _ that _ bad.”

“Okay,” Keith said. “Can we stop by my room? So I can get my shirt and trunks?”

“Yeah, of course,” Lance said. “Let me change real quick, too. Just in case.”

After Keith changed, they walked towards the pool slowly. It gave Keith a lot of time to think about him and Lance. Lance trusted him with these… swim lessons, and he didn’t want anyone else to know, not even Hunk. Did that  _ mean _ something? He wanted it to. 

Lance had been holding his hand just under Keith’s forearm in case he stumbled or misjudged a step (which happened several times), but when they walked through the doors to the pool, Lance gripped Keith’s forearm like his life depended on it. 

“Lance?”

“Sorry,” Lance croaked. He cleared his throat and let go. “It’s just… big.”

“We can just sit on the edge,” Keith suggested. “Dip our feet in. You don’t have to get in.”

“Let’s start with that,” Lance agreed. Keith sat down at the edge first and patted the floor next to him. Lance made his way down slowly, putting one foot in at a time. 

“Try to focus on how the water feels,” Keith said. “It’s not- it’s not bad, right? Let yourself get comfortable with it. Don’t push yourself too fast.”

“Distract me,” Lance breathed.

Keith needed a bit of a distraction himself. The water was cold on his left foot, but his right foot felt… duller, like it was his foot, but asleep. “My dad was the one who taught me how to swim,” he said. It was the first thing he could think of. “I was sitting on our living room couch. We were watching a documentary on wildlife. There was a section on hippos. I asked him to teach me how to swim, so he took me to the pool on cloudy and rainy days, when there weren’t a lot of people there. Ever since, I’ve just really liked hippos and swimming.”

“My sister taught me to swim,” Lance said. He started swaying his foot around in the water. Keith took that as a good sign. “She was one of my best friends, really. She was on the swim team at our pool and she always practiced on the beach.”

“Who’s your sister?” Keith focused on Lance’s face and tried to imagine a girl with similar facial features. 

“Her name is Veronica,” Lance said. He pointed his ears. “She’s deaf. She had a girlfriend. I think they were going to get married. I know she was going to propose, but then we came up here…”

“She’s deaf?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. “Luis is the oldest, so he only grew up learning Spanish, but when Veronica was born, my mom started teaching everyone ASL. So Marco and I grew up knowing it. Luis is only four years older than Veronica, so he was still young enough to start learning, though.”

An idea struck Keith. “Do you… do you think you could teach me some?”

Lance’s lips curved upwards. “Yeah. I could teach you the alphabet right now.”

“Okay,” Keith said, grinning and shifting to face Lance. He’d considered learning ASL before- his dad had offered to learn with him when Keith was 11, but Keith didn’t want to. 

Lance was a patient teacher, so Keith returned the favor and was patient with him. After Keith learned the alphabet and could repeat it by himself, they moved to the stairs. Keith pulled off his T-shirt and straightened the swim shirt he was wearing. Keith sat on the first step. Lance slowly moved to sit next to him. Keith sat on the second stair, so the water was up to his chest, but Lance refused, saying the water at his waist was bad enough. 

“If it’s bad, move back a little,” Keith said. “Don’t make yourself uncomfortable.”

“It’s not unbearable,” Lance explained. “I just don’t think I should really go any further.”

So they stayed that way, Lance on the first stair and Keith on the second, fingerspelling back and forth. “If you want, I can teach you numbers tonight.”

“I’d like that,” Keith said. He spelled  _ pilot _ . “After dinner?”

“Pilot,” Lance said. “That sounds good to me. Except I’m going to need a shower. And maybe a face mask.”

“Take your time,” Keith replied. He watched Lance’s hand intently. “Black?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. His eyes lit up. “Oh, do you want to learn colors after numbers?”

Keith grinned. “We have enough time, don’t we?”

  
  


Lance came after dinner. He had just taken a shower, so his hair was slightly wet. Keith had apparently left his door unlocked, because it slid right open when Lance stepped in front of it. Keith looked up from his spot on his bed. “Hi, Lance,” he greeted, putting down the book he was reading.

“What’s that?” Lance asked, sitting down on the floor by the bed. 

“Oh,” Keith said, looking down at the title and blushing a little. “It’s just a book, it’s not that great-”

“What’s it about?” Lance interrupted. He patted the ground next to him, hoping Keith would take the hint.

He did, hesitantly sliding to the floor, stumbling a little because he wasn’t quite used to the prosthetic, book still in hand. “It’s about this girl named Caitlin. She’s 10, and she has Asperger’s, and her brother just died in a school shooting. The whole story is about her trying to find closure for her and her dad.”

“Where did you find it?” 

“Shiro gave it to me,” Keith answered, and he looked down, thumbing at the cover. “After my dad died and Shiro took me in when I was 12, he gave me this book.”

Keith looked down again and Lance had the feeling he was holding himself back. “Why did Shiro give you that one?”

“Because… well, I guess because he knew I have Asperger’s, and he thought that a book without a neurotypical protagonist would make me feel better, I guess? Especially since the kids at the home and my school before the Garrison were assholes when they found out I was autistic.”

“Can I borrow it?”

Lance wasn’t sure what made him ask. It would probably take him a month to read it, even though it looked like a relatively small book, and Keith was obviously halfway through rereading it. So he was surprised when Keith said, “Yeah,” and pushed the book into Lance’s lap. 

He took a moment to inspect the cover. It was a picture of a girl with her brown hair in a braid, facing away towards a tree trunk. It was titled  _ Mockingbird _ . “I read a book about a guy with Asperger’s and he was trying to solve a murder,” he said conversationally, turning over the book so he could read the back.

Keith looked a little startled. “What?”

“I mean, not an actual murder,” Lance said. “He found a dead dog and he went off to figure out who did it. Then there’s a bunch of plot twists. He’s got a rat named Toby.”

“I like rats,” Keith said, and he started rubbing his thumb against his index finger. “They’re really smart and cute. What’s it called?”

“I’m a little surprised you’ve never heard of it,” Lance said, setting down the book. “It’s  _ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time _ . I might have a copy in my room. If I find it, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay,” Keith said, and he smiled. Lance’s heart stuttered. “Weren’t you coming in here to teach me numbers?”

“Oh,” Lance said, and he shook his head slightly. “Yeah, sorry, got a little side-tracked, you know, but yeah, we can do numbers. The first five are pretty obvious, except three because the way you’d normally show three is actually six in ASL…”

  
  


Lance wiped his face. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can!” Keith encouraged, stepping towards Lance, water rippling around him. He wanted Lance to just feel comfortable in the water again. “It’s the second step. Of course it’s hard, but you can do it.”

“It’s not hard,” Lance grit out, “it’s easy. It’s ridiculously easy. I’m just weak.”

“No, you’re not-”

“Yes, Keith, I  _ am _ !” Lance yanked himself backwards, out of the water completely, throwing the excess water off his hands. “I’m the Black-fucking-Paladin-”

“No, you’re-”

“-yet I can’t get in the fucking  _ water _ !”

“Lance!” Keith was at a loss. He wasn’t sure how to comfort Lance at all. He was right, wasn’t he? It was the second step into the pool; of course it was easy, it just wasn’t easy for  _ him _ . It was worse, because if Keith said something wrong, which was highly likely, he could upset Lance even more. “You almost  _ drowned _ , Lance. It makes sense for you to be afraid of water.”

“It doesn’t-” Lance cut himself off and slumped his shoulders. “Okay. I guess… I guess it  _ does _ make sense. But it  _ shouldn’t _ be that way.”

“It shouldn’t, but it  _ is _ , because the Galra were there and they were colonizing someone else’s planet and  _ you- _ you, being the selfless leader you have  _ always _ been- took on the most dangerous role in that mission and went to the front of the base  _ on foot _ , to the only entrance.” Keith was a little breathless after saying all of that. He realized Lance was staring. “What?” He asked, a little self-conscious.  _ Was that too obvious? _ He opened his mouth to backpedal, but Lance answered.

“Nothing,” Lance said quickly, “you’re just really passionate.”

Keith flushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s a good thing,” Lance reassured him, and somehow that was a million times better than him saying  _ it’s not a bad thing. _ He walked towards the pool and stepped on the first stair again, slowly. “I’m gonna try and make it to the third step today.”

“We have hours to get there,” Keith promised, “and you  _ will _ get there.”

  
  


Over the course of the next week, Lance taught Keith the ASL letters, basic colors, and numbers up to one hundred. By the end of the week, Lance was wading through the three feet of water, edging towards the four feet.

“So,” Hunk said casually, moving his spoon around his bowl, “how’s it going with Keith?”

(Lance had tried to keep the swimming to himself and Keith, but the mice had told Allura, who of course told Hunk because she thought he knew, who told Coran and Pidge, who told Shiro.)

Lance froze and his eyes slid over to where Hunk was still pretending to be interested in his food goo. “Fine,” he said. “I’ve been getting better in the water. I think I’m gonna try and put my face under today.”

“Interesting,” Hunk said. “So, you flirted with him yet?”

“Hunk!” Lance did a full 360 before turning back to glare at his ‘best friend.’ “What if he was in here?”

“Tragic,” Hunk said dryly. “It’s not like he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Don’t do that,” Lance warned.

“Do what?”

“Give me false hope!” Lance groaned and let his head fall forward, hunching over his soup. 

“It’s not false,” Hunk objected, pointing a spoon full of goop at Lance.

“It’s easy to find the romance in everything when you have an alien girlfriend, Hunk,” Lance said, narrowing his eyes.

Hunk blushed. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’s more your girlfriend than Keith is my-!” He cut himself off, flushed, and hunched over his plate. “Never mind.”

Pidge walked into the kitchen and sat on the stool next to Lance. “What’re you arguing about?”

“Lance’s big fat crush,” Hunk said, at the same time Lance said, “Nothing.”

Pidge smirked. “Oh, chatting about Keith, are we?”

“No!” Lance protested, but it was a lost cause. 

“You could just like, say something, you know,” Pidge said, reaching across the counter to get a bag of chips. 

“ _ If _ I flirt, it’s going to be subtle,” Lance said.

Pidge scoffed. “Oh, yes, because Keith is  _ so _ good at reading subtlety.”

“I have to go,” Lance said loudly, standing up and putting his unfinished bowl in the refrigerator instead of in the sink (in case he decided to eat it later because he hated food waste). He considered going to Keith’s room, but he wasn’t sure if Keith really wanted to see him right then, so he kept walking towards his room.

He thought about going to the training deck, too, because he really should practice with the broadsword, and probably the sniper rifle, but he also wanted to read Keith’s book.

He laid down on his bed while he debated the two, also wondering if he should shower and start his facial routine now or wait until later, since it was only a little after lunch-ish (probably two or three o’clock in Earth time). 

He opted to lay in his bed. After a couple minutes (it had probably been thirty seconds), he decided that he wanted to read. He reached up to his nightstand, where  _ Mockingbird  _ was. He opened to the first page and read the first sentence.

_ It looks like a one-winged bird crouching in the corner of our living room. _

He realized he was not in the mood to read at all and he should do something active because he hadn’t exercised. He and Keith also hadn’t gone down to the pool yet today. He stared at the first page a little while longer, looking at the words but not actually reading, before he grabbed a random trinket from his night stand and put it in as a bookmark.

He picked up his bayard and wandered down to the training deck, deciding that he was going to practice the broadsword, after all, but was barely surprised when Keith was already there. 

“Hey, man,” Lance called, waving, even though Keith wasn’t looking at him. He briefly wondered if Keith knew how good he looked kicking the gladiator’s ass.

“Pause training sequence,” Keith said, and wow, Lance didn’t expect that, he thought Keith would just continue until he beat it, maybe say a quick “hey” if he was feeling charitable. Keith wiped his forehead and turned around, practically beaming at Lance. “Hi, Lance!”

“What’re you doing?”

“Trying to get used to the new leg,” Keith said, sticking his right foot out and jiggling it a little. “It’s balanced and all, it just feels… weird. I had to start on level one because I’m not used to it at all.”

“Well, it’s metal.” 

“Coran explained what it was made of and how it functions, but all I really understood was that I can kick things and it won’t hurt. I’ll feel it, but it won’t hurt. So I’m safe to stub my right toe, I guess.”

“Keith Kogane, was that a  _ joke _ ?”

Keith grinned, a little bashful. “Did you ever find that book?”

Lance’s face fell. “Oh no, I forgot all about it. I’ll go look for it now-”

“It’s fine!” Keith sounded a little alarmed. He smiled sheepishly. “Can you stay here and help me train in close combat? That’s part of our deal, you know, you helping me with the leg.”

“Oh,” Lance said, turning back slowly. “Yeah! Yeah, okay, we can do that, I was sort of coming down to practice with the broadsword anyway.”

“Cool,” Keith said, brightening. “End training sequence.”

The gladiator fell through the floor, powered off, leaving the deck open for two people. Keith activated his bayard. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Lance said, activating his bayard, letting it grow into the black broadsword. 

Lance tried to go a little easy at first, only to gauge how well Keith was doing on his leg and how to best help him train. Keith was still the same type of fighter. Impulsive and brash, but effective, if not a little thrown off by the prosthetic. 

At one point, he stumbled more than he had been before, and he almost fell over. By the time he’d steadied himself, Lance’s blade was already at his throat.

“Damn it,” Keith muttered, and he looked more upset than Lance thought he would.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Keith muttered. Lance knew Keith wasn’t a sore loser; they’d dueled plenty of times before and Keith had never gotten upset when he lost, only impressed with Lance’s improvement. “I just- it’s been what, a week and a half, about? But I’m still unsteady.”

“You have a new limb, Keith.”

“So  _ what _ ?” Keith looked so  _ frustrated _ , and Lance’s chest ached. “I used to be  _ good _ . That match barely lasted two minutes, if not 90 seconds. And every time I think I’ve got this, I can use this leg the same way I used my  _ actual _ leg, I mess up, and it turns out, oh, actually, you  _ can’t _ do that!”

“Keith,” Lance said softly. His bayard shrank and he stepped forward, putting his hand on Keith’s shoulder. Keith looked up, but he didn’t look any happier. “I know how you feel. I feel it every time I think about lakes or we go to the pool. I know how embarrassing it feels to feel useless and weak, but you’re not- I-  _ we’re _ not.”

Keith huffed and crossed his arms.

“Keith, I don’t know if you fully realize this, but what happened to us? Trauma. It was traumatic. Your thigh snapped in half and you had to rescue me from drowning thanks to a concussion. It’s going to take longer than 10 days to learn a new part of your body.”

Keith’s arms dropped to his sides. “Okay.”

“So do you want to practice again?”

“Yes,” Keith said decidedly, “but then I really want to go to the pool, because it  _ is _ relaxing and I’ll probably be sweaty.”

Lance scratched his arm, attempting to smile, despite the fact that he wasn’t sure if he was going to get too far into the pool today. “Sounds like a plan, Samurai.”

  
  


Keith was ecstatic about the fact that it took Lance only eighteen minutes to get into the three feet.

“You’re up to your chest already!” He beamed. “Do you want to just stay in this area for now? You don’t have to go any deeper today.”

“Give me a few minutes,” Lance said. He looked a little freaked out. “I just need to get used to this.”

“Go back to the stairs if it’s too much,” Keith said.

“No, I’m- I’ve got big goals today, Keith. I want to put my face under. And go to the four feet.”

Keith tried to mask his shock. “Already?”

“Yeah,” Lance said firmly, taking a step and watching the ripples. “I mean, I’m not an aquaphobe. Well, I am, but it’s like, I wasn’t before, you know? I just need to make myself remember that I can swim and that water doesn’t mean I’m going to drown.”

“Okay,” Keith said cautiously. “How do you want to go about that?”

“I’m gonna stand here, hold the side, and crouch,” Lance said, pointing to the pool wall. “But… can you just touch my shoulder or something?”

He looked so nervous, Keith felt upset that Lance would think he’d make fun of him for it. “Of course,” Keith said. “Anything that will help you.”

Lance nodded and took a few quick breaths as if psyching himself up for it. His knuckles were white on the side of the pool. Keith was about to tell him to stop, because he really shouldn’t push himself, but then Lance was under the water and Keith’s hand snaked over to grip his shoulder.

Less than three seconds later, Lance was gasping and coughing for breath like the water was acid. Keith, startled, put his left hand on Lance’s shoulder and moved his right hand to Lance’s other shoulder, trying to lend a supportive arm. “Are you okay?”

“Fine!” Lance hissed, but both his hands were gripping the side of the pool so hard his knuckles were white and he was hunched forward.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No,” Lance said, but it was weaker than before. “I don’t want to stop. I just want to be done, Keith.”

Keith had no idea how to respond. Lance was upset, but when had Keith ever been the ideal comforter? “Recovery is a process. Do you want to try closer to the stairs?”

Lance inhaled deeply. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Keith swelled with pride and walked with Lance to the shallow end of the pool. It took a couple hours, but he was able to stay under for eight seconds. 

Lance wasn’t happy with how little he’d accomplished, but Keith was so,  _ so _ happy with how far he’d come. He just wished Lance could see it, too.

  
  


Bursting with energy, Lance ran into Keith’s room, practically bouncing on his toes. “I found it!” He said, waving something in Keith’s face.

“What?” Keith’s heart was pounding; he hadn’t expected anyone to come in, especially so loudly.

Lance noticed. His face dropped and his arms hung at his sides. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t knock or anything.”

“Just please don’t do it again,” Keith said, standing up. “What did you find?”

Lance’s proud smile was back. “The book!” He held it up to Keith’s face. Keith read the title.  _ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. _

“Where did you find it?” Keith asked incredulously.

“When we went to the Earth store in the Space Mall,” Lance explained. “The guy was happy to give it to me in exchange for 100 GAC. He thought it was almost worthless and I’ve had it in my room ever since.”

“Isn’t it?” Keith inquired, taking the book from Lance’s hand and turning it over.

“I mean, to aliens? Yeah. But not to me,” Lance said, grinning. “So I’ve only read six pages of  _ Mockingbird, _ but I’m really working on it, so be patient?”

“Of course I’ll be patient,” Keith said, trying not to blush. “I know it’s hard for you to focus on things, even if you want to.”

Lance smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Keith. See you later?”

“See you,” Keith said, and Lance gave a two-finger salute on his way out the door.

Keith stared at the closed door, holding the book close to his chest.  _ I’m going to read it, _ he decided,  _ and I know I’m going to love it. _ He blushed a little, thinking about Lance’s excitement, and then sat on his bed, opening to the first page.

  
  


Three weeks after the accident, Keith was almost completely used to his leg and doing significantly better in close combat. Lance was ready to try floating. 

“In the three feet?”

“Can we go to the three and a half-ish?”

“Sure,” Keith said, so they waded over to the area between the three and four feet. 

Lance closed his eyes. He  _ knew _ how to swim. He knew how to float. He hadn’t forgotten, exactly, he’d just lost all his faith in his ability to not drown. But he was better, wasn’t he? He had been in the water every single day since they’d started.

“I’m just gonna have my hands under your back,” Keith said. “Don’t panic.”

“Telling me not to panic doesn’t really help,” Lance huffed. He started to lean back anyway.

“Sorry,” Keith muttered. “Have you gotten far in the book?”

“No,” Lance said, and he sighed. “I’ve only gotten to page 41. It’s not that I don’t like it-”

“I didn’t think you don’t like it!”

“-it’s just that I either read one paragraph or forty pages and so far, I’ve only read forty pages once!” Lance felt frustrated. “I wish I could still get Vyvanse in space.”

“Can Coran create a similar pill?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said, “but he’s tried before. We’ve been up here less than a year, and I still had a month’s worth on me when Blue flew us, so it just hasn’t been a priority.”

“You could ask Pidge or Matt if they can try,” Keith suggested.

“But I don’t know what makes Vyvanse,” Lance explained, leaning backwards again, getting ready to float. “I wouldn’t know the chemical formula or whatever. Pidge still has one and she’s had it as a side project. Okay, I’m about to go back. Distract me with something. Talk about Krolia or Azul.”

“Azul’s been doing good, I think. Krolia’s been taking her with her on Blade missions, so she’s able to keep an eye on her. She’s still growing, apparently, she’s just below her waist now…”

Lance was breathing heavily, and even though he was floating on his back and Keith’s hands were under him, he was still holding the side with one hand. He felt embarrassed but there was no one else he’d rather have with him. “Keep going.”

“I started reading  _ The Curious Incident _ . I really like it, you were right, it’s a good book. I think it’s a little slow at some parts, but I’m not far in, so it’s probably just because I’m not at the rising action yet.”

Lance let a slow breath out of his mouth and jerked back to a standing position. “Okay. Okay. That was good, right?”

“It was a pretty long time,” Keith said. He was smiling. Lance felt elated.

Lance nodded and swallowed heavily. “We’re doing this a few more times, and then we’re going to the training deck to work on your leg.”

  
  


“Shiro?”

“What’s up?” Shiro sat up on his bed and put down the book he was reading. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Lance started, but then he stopped and frowned. “Well. I guess. It’s just a small thing.”

“Lance,” Shiro said, “you don’t need to explain yourself to me. What do you need? Do you want to sit down?”

Lance nodded and sat down next to Shiro, putting his hands on his knees, looking at the ground. Shiro was turned to face him, but Lance wasn’t confident enough to make eye contact. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About?” Shiro’s voice was impossibly gentle. Lance had the sinking feeling that Shiro knew what he was here about.

“I mean, you know I struggled to accept the fact that I’m bisexual, you know? But you were supportive. You were always there. And now… well, it’s kind of related, I guess… but I think I… have…  _ feelings _ , like you know, bi feelings, about someone, and I don’t know how to handle it.”

Lance’s face was burning. Shiro wasn’t stupid, there was  _ no _ way he didn’t know who Lance was talking about. “Why don’t you know how to handle it?”

“Because nothing good can come of it, Shiro,” Lance said, still looking at the floor, hard edge to his voice. “He- I mean, they- don’t feel the same.”

“What’s to say he doesn’t feel the same?”

For some reason, the fact that Shiro said ‘he’ made it better, like he was acknowledging who Lance was talking about without directly addressing him just yet. “Me. My whole being. Who I am. I don’t think I’m his type.”

“I think you’re selling yourself short.”

Lance blew a strand of hair from his eyes and finally turned to face Shiro. “He doesn’t feel the same, Shiro. And it could get really bad- what if we have to form Voltron but my stupid feelings cause a rift in the team?”

“It won’t come to that,” Shiro said. It sounded dismissive and like a promise at the same time, like the idea was absurd but he wanted to reassure Lance anyway. “Maybe telling him will help.”

“I don’t think so,” Lance muttered, and he stood up. “Maybe Voltron won’t be affected, but I still think I’d mess up our relationship.”

“Do you really think he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Do you really think he does?”

Shiro stared at him for a moment, and then rolled his neck. “So clearly my brother isn’t the only oblivious paladin in this castle.”

Lance flushed scarlet. “I- who? Your brother? Why- who said I meant Keith?”

“Lance,” Shiro deadpanned, looking at him. “Who else would it be? Not Pidge. Couldn’t be Hunk or Allura. And it’s definitely not me or Coran since we’re both way too old.”

_ Do you really think Keith doesn’t feel the same way?  _ Lance said hesitantly, standing up, “Thanks, Shiro, but I don’t… I don’t think I’m going to tell him. I’m too- I want to, but I’m not sure how.”

“Not yet?” Shiro asked, sounding almost hopeful.

Lance paused, looking over his shoulder. “Not yet,” he decided, and he was still smiling when he passed Keith’s room.

  
  


“So are you still madly in love with our black paladin?”

Keith faltered and almost tripped. He felt a familiar sense of panic, because  _ what if someone overheard, _ but then he remembered that Lance, Allura, and Hunk were out on a small diplomatic mission at the Altean colony and Coran and Pidge were trying to upgrade the teleduv.

“No,” Keith grunted, pushing his sword against the gladiator’s. “I never was.”

He broke the gladiator’s attack and gave it a final blow. The gladiator powered off and Keith turned to face Shiro, breathing heavily. He was glad the castle was chilly because otherwise he would be sweating. He sat down on the bench next to Shiro, who offered a water pouch.

“Are you sure?”

Keith was wearing his paladin armor, but not not the chunky chest or arm pieces he hated so much, so he was able to pull his jacket on without too much trouble. He slouched and popped his collar up further. “No.”

“So you are?”

Keith scoffed and took a long sip from the pouch, glaring at Shiro. “You know how I feel, Takashi. Don’t make me say it out loud.”

“Why are you so afraid of his reaction?”

“Because whatever it is, it won’t be good!” Keith raked his fingers through his hair. “Listen, Shiro, I appreciate you being there, okay? But I’d rather… just wait it out.”

“Wait it out,” Shiro repeated.

“Yeah,” Keith said, nodding. “I’m not going to ruin a friendship over feelings that won’t last and aren’t reciprocated. We’re friends now, Takashi. Do you know how hard it was to get there?”

“Keith, I know you’re in love with him-”

“I won’t say I’m in  _ love. _ ” 

_ But aren’t you? _ His mind whispered.

Shiro knew he wasn’t going to change his mind, so he said, “Pick up your pouch. You’re going to overexert yourself if you keep training today.”

Reluctantly, Keith left the training room with him. He read more of  _ The Curious Incident _ instead.

  
  


“18… 19… 20!”

Lance planted his feet firmly on the bottom of the pool and winced. “I hope I don’t get pool toe from this.”

Keith shrugged. “I already did.”

“And you’re not in an unbearable amount of pain?”

“No,” Keith said, eyebrows furrowed. “Why would it be unbearable? Maybe uncomfortable at most. And anyways, I just have a high pain tolerance.”

Lance twisted his back and his spine cracked. “I want to get to 30 seconds today.”

“You could probably get to a whole minute,” Keith blurted. He shrank and crossed his arms. “I mean, I don’t doubt that you could. You’ve made a lot of improvement in a short amount of time.” 

Lance flushed and grinned. “Thanks.”  _ Don’t read into it. _

“So, you wanna try again?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” Lance said. They’d already spent thirty minutes just getting in the pool at a pace fast enough that Lance was happy and slow enough that he could get comfortable. 

“What do you want to use on the training deck later today?”

“Can we do the invisible maze?”

“Sure,” Keith said, smiling slightly. “As long as you don’t get upset when you don’t listen to me.”

“I do  _ not _ ,” Lance huffed. “Oh, I’ve read a little more of  _ Mockingbird, _ by the way. I like Caitlin’s character.” He started leaning back, but when Keith didn’t move, he motioned towards his back. Keith nodded and stepped forward, setting out his hands. Lance leaned back and started counting in his head.

“I know I’ve always related to Caitlin,” Keith said, and he wasn’t looking at Lance, he was sort of looking to the side. “The autism, the ‘not having a mom’ thing and the ‘distant dad’ thing, although I guess being dead is a bit more distant than just being… a shell.”

“Husk?”

“Yeah, he’s more like a husk. But you can’t really blame him. His son was killed.” Keith looked down at Lance, who smiled despite himself, because Keith looked even more beautiful than usual. “But then when I reread it at the Garrison, after the Kerberos mission went south, it hit a little harder than it did before.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance said, consciously trying to slow his heartbeat, which had sped up for two reasons.

Keith apparently wanted to get it off his chest, because he continued. “Now I’d lost my brother, too,” he said, “and I thought he was dead, just like Devon. And I didn’t even have a dad. So of course I got expelled from the Garrison. I snapped at Iverson.”

“I was an ass to you,” Lance said, and he stood up, assuming it had been thirty seconds, maybe longer. 

Keith shrugged. “Obviously not a huge one, since I didn’t remember you. At least, not right away,” he clarified.

“Not right away? Did you recognize me after?” He pushed himself up so he sat on the edge of the pool where the water stopped just above his calves. He hoped Keith did remember him, but he wasn’t sure if they were good memories.

“I remembered when the first simulation scores came out,” Keith said, and he waded over so he could rest his elbows on the side of the pool. “I was at the top. You were in fourth, I think, but as they kept coming, you were getting closer and closer to the top. I remember you were only six points under me when the final exams came, but your grades in other classes weren’t as good, so you didn’t get to be a fighter pilot like you wanted. They put you in the cargo pilot class instead.”

“I was pretty jealous of you,” Lance said, voice dropping. “I mean, you weren’t ever focused, but you still  _ excelled _ in the math classes and never had to try to pass the others. I could’ve spent hours studying and focused in class and I would still have gotten C’s, maybe B’s.”

“That’s not your fault,” Keith said. “And you still became a fighter pilot. I think it’s more impressive that you were a fighter pilot than me because you put in effort and earned it.”

Somehow, Keith’s compliments always felt more genuine than anyone else’s. Maybe it was because everyone else’s compliments seemed like they were given out of obligation. Maybe it was because Keith rarely gave out compliments, maybe it was because Keith wasn’t the kind of person to give empty compliments, maybe it was simply because Lance was head over heels and anything even remotely positive from this boy made his heart feel like it was on fire.  _ What’s to say he doesn’t feel the same? _

And Keith was smiling. He was leaned on the side of the pool deck, arms crossed, resting on his elbows, looking at Lance, and  _ smiling _ . Lance couldn’t list a single thing he’d rather do than stare at Keith’s smile.

“Are you all right?” Keith’s smile quirked and his eyebrows scrunched ever so slightly.

“Fine,” Lance said, and he laughed nervously. “I just want to try this a few more times and then shower.” He slid back into the pool.

Keith shrugged and turned back to Lance. “Fine by me.”

  
  


It was one of those nights.

Keith had been staring up at the bottom of the top bunk no one slept on. He’d been getting what Hunk told him was ‘phantom limb pain.’ He was drumming his fingers on his real leg, which wasn’t helping like it usually did. He wanted to walk somewhere, maybe to just calm down, but he didn’t want to feel this leg at all. He wanted it gone. He wanted  _ his _ leg back.

He cursed and stood up. On nights like this, he more disconnected from the prosthetic than usual. He could feel that he was walking weirdly; his knee wasn’t bending quite right. He walked towards the observatory he’d stood in with Kuron when he apologized for trying to control him. He felt the wave of anger he always felt when he thought of Kuron.

He walked into the observatory a little too quickly, because he tripped on the step that lead to the huge window. 

“Are you okay?”

He jumped. “What are you doing here?”

Lance was sitting on one of the steps, leaning against a pillar. “I’m just… sitting. Watching. Insomnia.”

“Oh,” Keith said, and he started to sit but stopped himself. “Uh, do you mind? If I sit?”

“No,” Lance said, gesturing to the step next to him. “I could use some company, anyway.”

His smile was weak, but it made Keith’s heart thump faster.

“Me, too,” he said, and he clumsily got down onto the step, knocking a little into Lance. He winced, but didn’t move to sit further from Lance. “Sorry. The leg is… acting up. Even though it’s been a  _ month _ .”

He must’ve sounded bitter, because Lance said, “And I still can’t swim. Trust me, Keith, you’re doing better than me. You’re already back to beating my ass at close combat.”

“You’re amazing with close combat,” Keith said without thinking. He flushed. “Sorry.”

“Hey, I’ll take compliments from you whenever I can,” Lance said, holding his hands up in an “I surrender”-esque motion. 

Keith bit his tongue and watched the stars. There were shooting stars, he realized, and he looked back at Lance. “Did you know there were shooting stars?”

“No, but it was a pleasant surprise,” Lance said. “Sort of like you coming here.”

“I’m a pleasant surprise?”

Lance huffed. “I don’t know if this is a surprise to you, Keith, but you’re pleasant for me to be around. That’s why I spend so much time with you. That’s why I asked you to help me get over the aquaphobia. That’s why I helped you get used to the leg.”

Keith swore Lance was blushing. Maybe that’s why he did what he did. He was practically bursting with the ache to tell him, so what better time than 3am, while staring at space? Bad decisions were always best made at night. And Shiro was right. Even if he didn’t want to say the words out loud yet, he was pretty sure he loved Lance.

“Can I, um, say something?”

“Sure,” Lance said, and he still hadn’t looked away from the stars. 

“Lance,” Keith said, breathing deeply. He had to say it quickly or he wouldn’t say it at all. He counted to five in his head, partly to give him time to prepare, but mostly to force himself on a deadline. “Lance. I really, really- I think I have- I’m…”

He fumbled for the right words. “I like you,” he finished, voice cracking on ‘like.’ He faced the stars, scared of meeting Lance’s eyes.

He could see Lance staring at him in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t move. He wanted to stand up and run down the hall and collapse in his bed and forget he ever said anything, because silence was  _ never _ a good answer, but he couldn’t physically force himself to. A few more beats of awkward silence, and- 

“Me, too,” Lance said quietly, and Keith, head ducked, turned to look at him through his bangs. “I just- I didn’t think you did, I mean.”

“Wha- why  _ wouldn’t _ I?” Keith asked in disbelief, staring at the boy who was always so popular on diplomatic missions and he saw aliens swoon over.

“You’re  _ Keith _ !” Lance squawked, and Keith was about to open his mouth (having taken offense) when Lance explained quickly, “You’re so insanely out of my league I thought I might as well give up and stay friends.”

Not having anything else to say to that, Keith said, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Lance muttered, and he looked back at the stars. A particularly big one shot across the sky. “So. The feeling’s… mutual.”

It was quiet. Keith rubbed his thumb against his index finger, swallowing thickly, and said, “Oh.”

Lance was drumming his fingers against the ground. “What now?”

Keith shrugged and watched Lance, who had started picking at the dirt on his shoes. “I don’t know.”

Lance shifted and their shoulders bumped. “Keith?”

“Yeah?”

They were looking each other in the eyes. It felt too intense, and Keith wanted to look away, but he also wanted to stare at Lance’s face and his freckles and his eyes and his curly hair for the rest of his life.

“Can I-”

Keith leaned forward and pressed his lips to Lance’s. He  _ really _ hoped Lance was going to ask what he thought he was going to ask. He was about to break it off when he felt Lance’s hand on the back of his neck. 

The kiss didn’t end with either of them pulling away; it ended with their lips separating and their foreheads resting against each other. Lance chuckled quietly and Keith opened his eyes to see him. 

Lance’s teeth were just slightly crooked. One of his eyebrows arched further than the other. His smile was lopsided. There was a tiny, pale scar just under his lip. And yet his face was the most perfect thing Keith had ever seen in his life.

  
  


Lance was convinced that Keith’s lips were a drug.

He didn’t stop thinking about the kiss even after he fell in his bed and went to sleep. He woke up and it was the first thing on his mind. He desperately wanted to kiss him again. He was thankful Keith was perceptive, or impulsive, whichever, really, because it meant he didn’t have to finished  _ asking _ for a kiss last night. 

He got dressed and went towards Keith’s room, hesitating in front of his door. What if Keith didn’t  _ want _ to talk? What if he hoped Lance would just forget about it, or not mention it?

His hand was still in front of the door while he debated knocking, but it slid open. Keith left it unlocked again.

Keith was putting away his laundry neatly. Apparently, Coran had done a cycle. He looked over at Lance, somewhat surprised. “Hi, Lance.” He looked back down at the binder he was unwrinkling and put it neatly into his drawer. 

Lance never sorted his laundry like that. It was always either crammed into the dresser or spread out on top of it. “Hey, man. How’s your… leg?”

Keith paused and shook it a little. “Better today,” he said. He stopped what he was doing entirely and dropped his arms, hands knotted in the black shirt he picked up. “Did you want to kiss me?”

Lance’s voice caught in his throat. Did Keith always go for the kill like that? “Of course I did,” he said, voice small, scared of Keith’s reaction. “Did you?”

“Obviously, since I kissed you,” Keith said, and he resumed sorting his clothes. He looked like he was smiling a little. Shyly, he added, “I still do.”

“Y-you do?”

“Why  _ wouldn’t _ I?” Keith asked, facing Lance, exasperation evident in his expression. “Haven’t you realized I’m stupid in  _ love _ with you?”

Lance shifted on his feet. Keith shoved his shirt in his drawer a little more aggressively than necessary. Lance got the feeling that he hadn’t wanted to say that, but it just  _ came out. _ He took a couple steps forward and, despite being disheartened by Keith’s obvious stiffening, said, “I’m stupid in love with you, too.”

Keith’s shoulders relaxed and suddenly he didn’t look so apprehensive and tense. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Lance said, confidence growing. “So how about you finish your laundry and then we get breakfast? I can’t swim on an empty stomach.”

  
  


“I’m gonna go ahead and go to the pool early,” Keith said to Lance, standing up and picking up his plastic plate. “See you, Lance.”

“Bye!” Lance said brightly, waving as Keith went through the kitchen door. He knew there was a dopey smile on his face, but he didn’t care.

The only other people at the table with Lance were Coran, Hunk, and Allura. Hunk raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Lance. “Could you not make me want to vomit all over my breakfast?”

“It doesn’t take much,” Lance shot back.

“Actually, Number 1 has gotten much better with his nausea!” Coran said, scooping up some of the eggs he was eating. 

“And anyways, you’re one to talk,” Lance said, pushing a pancake around his plate. 

Hunk spluttered and turned red. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think he’s trying to say we’re nauseatingly sweet, too,” Allura said, patting Hunk’s arm comfortingly. 

“Thank you, Allura, that’s  _ exactly _ what I’m saying.”

Coran was inspecting a piece of pancake. “People said the same thing about me and Alfor. Number 1, would you mind teaching me how to make these delicious little buggers?”

“Not even a little bit,” Hunk said happily. “I love teaching recipes.”

Allura giggled. “There’s the bright smile I love.”

Lance pretended to make retching sounds. 

Allura glared at him. “Just because you can’t be openly affectionate towards Keith doesn’t mean I can’t be affectionate with Hunk,  _ Lonce. _ ”

“I  _ can _ !” He protested, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to tell them just yet, and he had the feeling Keith didn’t either. “I just… won’t,” he finished lamely.

Hunk snorted. Lance finished his breakfast and went off to his room so he could change and find Keith. He picked up his trunks and then paused to look around, frowning, tapping his fingers against his thigh. Then he remembered that he wanted to bring his bayard- just in case they ended up going to the training deck. 

Keith was swimming laps in the pool. Lance felt a sharp pang of jealousy. Keith didn’t have to  _ think _ about swimming. He didn’t have to mentally prepare himself whenever he was about to dip his toes in. He didn’t have to deal with a racing heart or black spots in his eyes when water unexpectedly splashed above his neck line. 

Keith saw Lance was there and stopped when he reached the wall. The swim shirt he was wearing today was blue. “Hey!”

“Hi,” Lance said. “Again. Ready?”

“Yup,” Keith said. He looked deep in thought for a moment. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to the fact that I only feel one of my legs is wet.”

“Do you think Coran could add, like, nerves or something?” Was that how those worked?

“Maybe,” Keith said, and he patted the surface of the water lightly. “Start slow.”

It was hours later that Lance was floating on the surface, staring up at Keith, who was behind his head, holding under his shoulders. Keith said, “Do you think you could teach me some sea animals?”

“Sure,” Lance said. “As soon as I shower again. Oh, and Coran told me we all have a mandatory diplomacy mission tomorrow. Some big dance that’s super important to the Vaerysi.”

“The big lizards?”

“Don’t let Shiro catch you calling them that,” Lance snorted, and he shifted up so he could hold the side of the pool. “But yes, the lizards.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to mentally prepare for that,” Keith said, only half-kidding.

“Don’t worry,” Lance said, smiling reassuringly. “I’ll stay with you the whole time. I don’t really want to be with anyone else.”

Keith felt butterflies explode in his stomach.

  
  


Lance pulled on flannel pajama pants because he didn’t want to wear real pants. 

Keith was lying on his stomach in his bed, reading  _ The Curious Incident. _ He looked like he was halfway through. “Hi, Lance,” he said, putting in a bookmark and leaning forward to put the book on his nightstand. “Animals?”

“Do you wanna start with reviewing? I don’t want you to forget colors and letters and stuff.”

“I hate reviewing,” Keith muttered, and he sat up and Lance sat criss cross at the end of the bed. Keith was wearing a baggy black sweatshirt. “But if you think that’s a good idea, then yeah.”

As it turned out, Keith did need a little bit of review when it came to certain letters and the 20’s. “They’re the most difficult numbers,” Lance said. “So don’t worry about it.”

Twenty minutes later, Lance said, “Do you want to learn hippo? Since that’s your favorite animal, I mean?”

“You remember that?” Keith looked a little surprised. 

“Uh, well,” Lance said, and he smiled a little bashfully. “Yeah. I remember a lot about you. Some things I forget, but for some reason, my brain likes to hold on to the details.”  

“I remember that your brother Luis is four years older than Veronica, and Veronica was on the swim team.” Lance was a little surprised that Keith remembered that. “And your favorite animal is a shark.”

“What can I say? They’re pretty cool,” Lance said, shrugging. 

Lance taught him different sea animal signs. A couple times, Keith would mess up and get that pout Lance started to think of as cute. He stood up and stretched at 10:30. “Long day ahead tomorrow,” he said. “You should get some sleep.”

“Wait,” Keith blurted, but then he stopped and didn’t say anything else.

Lance raised an eyebrow. “What?”

There was no doubt about it- Keith was blushing. “Can- do you want to stay?”

Lance wasn’t sure what to say to that. Or why Keith asked. He settled for teasing him. “Moving a little fast, aren’t we?”

Keith flushed up to his ears. “Shut up. Never mind, then, if you don’t feel comfortable-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said I didn’t want to?” Lance switched off the light, leaving only the dim blue glow of the stars on the ceiling- apparently Alteans had those too, and Allura put them up in everyone’s room. “Scoot over, Mullet, the bed’s huge.”

Keith shifted so he was against the wall. Lance lifted the blanket and got comfortable on the bed. “Whoa. This blanket is really heavy.”

“Oh, sorry,” Keith said, and he was turning over so he could reach over the bed to get the comforter that was originally on the bed. 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lance said, tugging on Keith’s arm. “I like weighted blankets. I’ve never actually used one, but I always wanted one.”

“Oh,” Keith said, and Lance thought he sounded… pleased? “Well. Now you can. Goodnight, Lance.”

“Night,” Lance said, he drifted off.

  
  


“Lance.”

“Huh?”

Keith shook Lance’s shoulder a little harder. “Lance. Wake up.” He pushed him more, gave up, and flopped down on his pillow. “We have to get up. The diplomatic mission, remember?”

This seemed to work. Lance groaned and sat up. “Okay. Fine. Did Coran tell us how we had to dress?”

“No, but I’m gonna assume the paladin suits.”

Lance pressed his palms into his eyes. “They’re so ugly, though.”

“I know,” Keith said, “but that’s what we’re wearing. Probably.”

“I’m gonna ask Coran,” Lance said, leaning back with his arms stretched above his head. “I’ll be back in five minutes to let you know!”

Keith didn’t really have anything to do while he waited five minutes for Lance to come back. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. He brushed his teeth quickly, since they probably didn’t have time for breakfast, and walked back into his room. He had a muscle spasm- or was it just a spasm, since there wasn’t any muscle?- in his leg. He hoped it would reset or whatever so the knee wouldn’t randomly lock throughout the day. Lance came in a minute later.

“The paladin suits,” Lance said. “And we’re supposed to be leaving in like, fifteen minutes. We slept way longer than I thought we would. But no one checked on me or you, so no one knows about it. But you’d better hurry.”

Lance did his two finger salute and ran off, presumably to change into his suit, and left Keith blinking at the door. 

Almost an hour later, they were listening to Allura and the Vaerysi president deliver a speech about how this new alliance would strengthen the rebellion against the Galra. It was standard diplomat talk, and Keith wasn’t in the mood for it.

As soon as the actual dancing started, he was leaning against the wall, partly because he didn’t trust his knee enough to stand, counting down the ticks until they could go back home. He saw Lance talking to several Vaerysi, most of them women, and Lance was laughing and talking enthusiastically. He had no reason to be jealous, but he was hit with a sudden pang of longing to be under the cover of the weighted blanket with Lance.

“May I have this dance?”

Keith looked up again. “What?”

Lance blew a strand of hair out of his face. “This dance, Keith. May I have it?”

“You want to dance with me?”

“I can’t have my right-hand man sulking in the corner-”

“I am not  _ sulking- _ ”

“-when he could be dancing with me. I want to. Do you want to dance?” He held out his hand and batted his eyelashes comically. 

“Don’t you think Hunk and Pidge will find that a little suspicious?” Keith asked, rolling his eyes and smiling despite himself. He took Lance’s hand and Lance started to lead him towards the center of the room. Keith tugged on his arm a little, motioning backwards. Lance nodded and they stayed on the outskirts of the main group.

“Nah, they’ll just think I’m being really obvious with my flirting and you’re being oblivious again,” Lance said dismissively.

Keith frowned. “Again? You  _ never _ flirt with me.”

Lance just looked at Keith. “Case in point, sweetheart. You’re oblivious.”

“Sweetheart?” Keith spluttered, pink. “Where did that come from?”

Lance frowned. “Do you not like it? I figured you’d be a total romantic and weak for pet names, but if you’re uncomfortable-”

“No,” Keith said, a little too loudly and a little too abruptly. “I do. I- yeah. Pet names are nice.”

“Got it, sweetheart.” He winced. “Sorry. I like variety, but ‘sweetheart’ and ‘babe’ are my favorites.” He tilted his head to look behind Keith, and Keith followed his gaze. “Look. Hunk and Pidge are looking over here.”

“They look sad,” Keith noted.

“Like I said, they probably think my flirting is going over your head. It’s not, though, right? I don’t know if you’re aware, but calling someone sweetheart is usually flirting.”

“Ass,” Keith said, small smile on his face. “Is teasing a part of flirting, too?”

“It is.”

“Huh,” Keith said, suddenly lost in thought. “I guess you do flirt with me.”

“I’m glad it clicked. Maybe you’ll notice the next time I do it.”

Keith’s leg chose that moment to have a random burst of energy. It locked just as they turned. Keith stumbled forward and Lance caught him, helping him back up. “Whoa,” he said, eyebrows knit in concern. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” Keith said, but he wanted to leave the room that was full of people, some of which had turned to look at the unsteady paladin. “Can we go?”

“We can take a snack break,” Lance offered. “Or go into the other room. Should I get Shiro?”

“No, don’t bother him,” Keith muttered. “Listen, I’m fine, I just don’t want to be in here anymore.”

“Okay,” Lance said, and they left the ballroom so they could go to the giant balcony overlooking their ocean. Keith liked their planet and its colors. The grass was like a dark aqua and the sea was purple with ripples of pink and blue.

Keith took a deep breath and sighed. “Some days are good. Some days the leg acts up. I don’t know why. I wish it didn’t.”

“Did Coran say anything?”

“He said the first month or two, there were bound to be little mess-ups, since he wasn’t an actual surgeon, he was only a nurse.”

“Well, it’s been a month. So there’s only a couple days left like this, right? If that.”

“Maybe,” Keith said, but he wasn’t so sure. “Jeez, I hope Allura’s not mad we left.”

“Allura’s understanding,” Lance said. He grinned, a little cocky. “I think it’s a blue paladin trait. And I’m sorry about not being with you in the beginning there. I know I said I would.”

Keith looked away. “It was only fifteen minutes, Lance.”

“Still,” he insisted. 

Keith huffed. “Can we run through colors?”

Lance blinked, a little taken aback. He recovered quickly. “Yeah! Yeah, of course.” He pointed the tip of his index finger at his lips and moved it down. “What’s that?”

“Red,” Keith answered, and he could feel himself relaxing as they went on.

  
  


Lance wasn’t prepared for Hunk’s questioning the second he walked into the kitchen to get food. 

“Why were you dancing with Keith?”

Lance froze and turned around. He had been digging around the fridge for food goo and something that Keith would eat. Sure enough, Hunk, Allura, and Pidge were sitting on stools at the counter in the middle, eating something Allura had made. She called it “steamed jaei,” and it was pretty close in consistency to fish. 

“Huh?” Lance asked intelligently, still holding his goo.

“Keith,” Pidge said. “You danced with him today. I don’t know if you’re still trying to be subtle, but that wasn’t subtle in the least.”

Lance tried to keep the smile off his face. “I’m not trying to be subtle.”

“That’s a relief, because if you were, you were failing spectacularly,” Allura said, pointing her spork at him. “Why the sudden change?”

Lance pursed his lips. “Maybe I’m thinking about telling him.”

Pidge snorted and tried to cover her face. “Right,” she said, bubbling with laughter. “Lance, I love you, but you’re a little bitch when it comes to how you feel about Keith.”

“I am  _ not _ !” Lance objected indignantly. “Keith’s just intimidating.” He pulled out a plate and put some of the vegetables Hunk and Allura prepared on it with a piece of jaei. 

“Why are you getting so much food?” Hunk asked suspiciously.

Lance put the scooper down slowly and started drumming his fingers. “No reason.”

“Are you gonna flirt with Keith by offering him space fish?” Pidge asked.

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Well, I hope he enjoys it,” Allura said. “Goodnight, Lance!”

“Goodnight, ‘Lura!” Lance waved and left, grinning.

  
  


Keith jumped when his door opened louder than it usually did.

“I got you food!” Lance announced, and then he winced. “Sorry. That was loud. I got you dinner. And I know you like the broccoli stuff Hunk grew, so I got you a lot of that.”

“That was nice of you, but I didn’t say I was hungry-”

“Are you hungry?”

“...A little,” Keith admitted. He had been sitting in the recliner in the corner of his room. He stood up and put the book on his night stand again (Lance saw he was a little further along) and sat down against his bed, facing the TV on the opposite wall.  “Thanks, Lance.”

“No problem, sweetheart.” Lance sat down next to him and almost immediately hopped back up. “Keith!”

“What?”

Lance was already messing around with the TV. “We can watch some Altean movie while we eat!”

Keith smiled a little bit. “Okay.” He was moving the food around his plate while Lance did his best to set it up. “Are… um, are you gonna stay again?”

“I want to,” Lance said. He pressed  _ play _ and flipped off the lights before sitting next to Keith. “Can I?”

“I’d really like it if you did,” Keith said. 

“Okay,” Lance said, and they watched the movie. It was about an Altean girl who went to college for an architecture program and she fell in love with an art student. The art student looked sort of like Allura, except her hair was more pink than blue or white. The movie ended with them going into business together creating beautiful buildings with beautiful decoration. 

Keith had started to fall asleep soon after finishing his food. He’d put all their dishes up on the nightstand and his head was resting on Lance’s shoulder. Lance’s head was leaned against Keith’s. He gently shook Keith. “Hey. Movie’s over.”

“Hm?” Keith’s eyes opened slowly. “Oh.”

“Yeah, come on.”

They crawled up into the bed and Keith let out a little puff of air from his nose. “Did Hunk say anything?”

“They don’t suspect anything,” Lance said. He huffed. “Pidge said I’m too much of a little bitch to tell you how I feel. Shows how much she knows.”

Keith flipped over so they were facing each other. “Aren’t you? I’m the one who confessed first.”

“W- I am not a little bitch!”

“So then how  _ do _ you feel about me?”

Lance took a moment to think about how he wanted to respond. He scooted a little closer so they were inches apart. “I’m stupid in love, remember?”

Keith smiled. “Me, too.” 

Lance leaned forward just a little further. “Hey, we gotta do that thing couples do.”

“What?”

Lance kissed him and smiled like a dork at Keith’s reaction, which was wide-eyed. 

Keith shifted forward so their legs tangled. He kissed Lance back. “We can do that more often than just to say goodnight.”

With that, he tucked his head under Lance’s chin. They fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

  
  


“Oh my fucking God.”

Keith groaned and shifted around. He opened his eyes and realized he was facing the wall. He liked to face the wall instead of his door, so he must’ve flipped in the middle of the night. 

He became acutely aware of the fact that it was Lance’s arms that were wrapped around his waist and Lance’s nose that was pressed into his neck. He was also breathing fairly steadily- which meant the voice that woke him up did not belong to Lance.

He shot up quickly and Lance’s arms tightened. “Come back,” Lance mumbled.

Keith shook Lance’s shoulder a little rougher than necessary. “Wake up, Lance.”

Pidge was standing in the doorway, staring at them. “What the fuck?” She said, and much to Keith’s dismay, Hunk showed up behind her. 

“Did you find him?”

“Oh, yeah I did,” Pidge said, and she was smirking. “Take a long look at Leandro  _ fucking _ McClain.”

That was the moment Lance decided to sit up and rub his eyes. He saw the two of them standing there and said, “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit is right,” Hunk said. “You didn’t tell me you were having a slumber party. Was it a boyfriends only event?”

“This was strictly platonic,” Lance said quickly.

Keith glared at him. “No, it was not.”

Pidge burst into laughter. “Christ. Oh my god. Just wait till Shiro finds out.”

“He doesn’t have to know,” Keith said, but Pidge shook her head.

“Hunk noticed Lance wasn’t in his room this morning and told Coran and Shiro, who were making breakfast. Shiro said to look around.”

“You can say I fell asleep in the observatory,” Lance offered.

“And miss out on embarrassing you? I think not,” Hunk said. “We won’t bring it up right away. But we totally will.”

“Just not right away is fine,” Lance said. “Now get out so I can put on my real clothes.” 

The two of them left, still giggling, and Lance stood up to stretch. “I don’t actually care about getting dressed. I’ll wait for you if you want?”

“Yeah,” Keith said. “I have to put on clothes.” He stood up and picked a t-shirt, a binder, sweatpants, and boxers from his drawer and walked into his bathroom.

He finished and came out just as Lance was finished combing his fingers through his hair. “I’m gonna rinse my face in your sink really quick and then I’m gonna do my real skin care when I get back to my bathroom.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Keith said, and they entered the dining room together.

Shiro raised one unimpressed eyebrow at Keith. Keith looked away and sat down a couple seats away from him. Lance sat down next to him.

“Where were you?” Shiro finally asked.

“Lance and Keith slept together,” Pidge said.

“You did  _ not _ have to say it like that!” Lance squeaked. Keith groaned and his head fell forward so he could hide his face in his hands. 

“They what?” Shiro asked, dropping his fork.

“We didn’t sleep together!” Keith protested, then he paused. “Well. We did. But not like that, like, we literally slept in the same bed and that’s  _ it _ . What happened to ‘not right away,’ Pidge?”

“I meant like, not the first thing I said.”

Shiro blinked. “Well. At least you’re not blind idiots anymore.”

“We were never-” Keith started, but Lance cut over him.

“Keith, you literally didn’t know I flirted with you until I explicitly told you I flirt with you. It’s pretty safe to say you’re blind,” Lance reminded him. 

“Don’t act so high and mighty, Lance,” Allura said pointedly. “You were fairly oblivious as well.”

“I think the only observant paladin is Number 5,” Coran said. 

“What about  _ me _ ?” Shiro asked indignantly.

Coran pursed his lips. “First of all, Number 2, you’re not a paladin anymore. But even when you were, plenty of flirting from other aliens went right over your head.”

“Poor Shiro,” Keith said. “Could’ve gotten yourself some alien dick.”

“I don’t  _ want _ alien dick-”

“You don’t have to say that just because you missed out, Takashi-”

“Can we just eat without talking about dicking?” Pidge asked, exasperated. “Christ, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I knew it would lead to  _ this _ .”

“Yes, you would,” Hunk said. “We both would.”

“Maybe,” she said. “But now I don’t want to, so let’s just move on?”

“Katie’s a snitch,” Keith said.

She punched his arm, but not very hard. “Shut up! According to Lance, there was nothing to snitch on, anyway! So unless you wanna retract that statement-”

“We’re done!” Lance said loudly. “We’re eating and we’re done!”

Coran stepped in talking about another solar system with possible Galra colonies that they’d have to clear, and that was that.

  
  


“Red’s a sexy color on you,” Lance said. “You should wear it more often.”

Keith was wearing a black swim shirt and red trunks. “Yeah, cause swim suits are always so sexy,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

“They actually are. Have you seen bikinis? And speedos?”

Keith wrinkled his nose and rested his hands on the surface of the water, swaying. “I have. And I don’t think speedos are flattering at all. And full offense, Lance, but I’m gay. Why would I care about a girl in a bikini?”

“Just because you’re not romantically or sexually attracted to her doesn’t mean you can’t acknowledge that she’s attractive,” Lance said.

“Was that your motto when you met me?”

“ _ Someone’s _ very full of himself,” Lance said, easing back so he could sit on the step. The water was up to his chest. It was like being in the deep water without as much fear. “But yes.”

Keith hummed. “Okay. Fine, yes, girls can look good in bikinis. I just don’t care when they do.”

“That’s fair,” Lance said, waving his hands around underwater and watching them. “Hey, Keith.” He held up his hand so his pinkie, index finger, and thumb were sticking out. 

Keith just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You know I love you, too.”

Lance pouted. “Come on, you have to sign back. That’s what practice is!”

“With you around, I highly doubt I’ll forget the sign for ‘I love you,’” Keith grumbled, but he repeated the gesture anyway.

“Sign ‘yellow,’” Lance said. “Practice, remember?”

“That’s just the Y-shape wiggling!”

“So show me,” Lance countered. 

“Do I get anything for it?”

“Tell you what,” Lance said, smirking. “If you get twenty right in a row, you get a kiss.”

“What happens if I lose?”

Lance faltered. “I mean, I’ll probably kiss you at some point anyway. But it won’t be right away! So you should still put in effort.”

Keith got his kiss.

  
  


Keith was sitting at the edge of the deck, watching the nebula. It was pink in the middle and faded into a purple at the edges.

“Hey, man.”

Keith turned. He hadn’t been expecting anyone. “Hey.”

Lance sat down. “Are you cold?”

Keith shrugged. He hunched forward. “A little. I just needed the quiet. Sorry I left.”

Lance shrugged off his jacket and held it out. Keith stared at it, so Lance shook it a little. “Here. Since you’re cold.”

Hesitantly, Keith reached forward and took to the jacket, sliding it on and going back to his previous position, a little more comfortable with the jacket. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Lance said, and he watched the nebula with Keith. 

It was a few minutes later that Keith spoke. “Why did you come here?”

Lance glanced over. Keith was looking at him intently. “Oh,” he said, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I woke up from a nightmare and you weren’t there, so I figured you were in the observatory or the training deck.”

Keith felt guilty. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been there. Was it bad?”

Lance shrugged, but he had the look in his eye that told Keith it was. “I’m all right now.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Lance side-eyed him, then looked back to the nebula. “I think my memory resurfaced.”

Keith’s heart clenched. That memory wasn’t a good one. “Some nightmare,” he said quietly. 

Lance closed his eyes and leaned back a little farther. “Yeah. I saw the mountain blow and a rock landed on my head. My visor cracked and I just… dropped. I saw you crouched in front of me. Your shield was up. You turned around to fire back and I saw your booster was busted. When you turned back, you screamed. Your thigh- your leg was shot.”

Keith knew all this. He’d lived it. He was there when mentally, Lance hadn’t been. But it was so much worse to listen to Lance say it, because he knew Lance felt guilty for forgetting about it, for not helping more, even if he couldn’t have done anything.

“Then we were falling,” Lance said quietly. “You must’ve used your booster, or maybe our suits are just durable, because we didn’t die hitting the water. But you hit the ground first. I remember hearing your bone snap.”

Keith hugged his knees to his chest. “Yeah.”

“What happened after that?”

“I went in the water for you,” Keith said simply. “There wasn’t another choice. As soon as I pulled you out, I passed out. Probably from the pain.”

“Christ.”

“The things you do for the people you love,” Keith said, shrugging and giving Lance a small smile.

“Yeah,” Lance said, and he scooted so he was pressed up against Keith. “I’d do pretty much anything you asked me to. Like finish  _ Mockingbird. _ I got super into it and finished it while you were sleeping.”

“Did you like it?”

“Almost as much as I like you,” Lance said, cheeky.

Keith leaned his head in and made the ‘I love you’ sign, putting his hand down so it was on Lance’s thigh. Lance chuckled and did the same thing before moving to kiss him. 

When they broke apart, Keith let his head fall into Lance’s neck, laughing quietly to himself.  _ Stupid in love, _ he thought giddily.

He didn’t know that Lance was thinking the same thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr, I drew some (not great) art for this! https://hunksarc.tumblr.com/post/175717859644/art-i-drew-for-my-new-fic-on-ao3-of-amputees-and
> 
> Shout out if you caught the tiny Hercules reference :)
> 
> This was originally going to be called Of Amputees and Amnesiacs because of the ‘am’ repetition, but the aquaphobia is a more important aspect of the story. 
> 
> I wanted to have Keith infodump about Mockingbird, but I also didn’t want to spoil it in case anyone decides to read it (seriously, I love that book. I have one major problem with it, but I enjoyed the story). 
> 
> Also, I headcanon that Keith gets anxious using glass cups, so he uses plastic ones and mugs (like me!). And I’d be especially anxious if they were 10,600 year old glasses and some of the only things left of Altea.
> 
> One last thing- Part of my ADHD is literally never sitting completely still, so Lance moving around and randomly holding things is me projecting.
> 
> Mockingbird: https://www.amazon.com/Mockingbird-Kathryn-Erskine/dp/0142417750/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1530324531&sr=8-1&keywords=mockingbird


End file.
